Here I go... again!

Yes, it's that time again! Time for Valerie to fall prey to the ever present desire to feel sorry for herself!! "Haven't you blogged about this before?" you ask? Yes! Yes, I have! But, obviously, I haven't arrived, so here I go again!
I have been in the "depths of despair" as Anne Shirley once said, and I really hate it when that happens! Things have been so busy and tiring lately and I just keep holding out hope that the Lord will send us some added faithful folks to church, or a huge offering (hey, it could happen!) that when it doesn't happen, I slip off my comfy plateau and into that bottomless abyss of self-pity. Forgive my transparency here, but why try to hide it? I'm sorry if this shocks or disappoints anyone, I think most of you already know how "full of faults" I am. If you didn't, well, you do now.

But, you needn't fear, for the Lord has lined me out...again!
When I need encouragement, He's there. When I need correction, well, He's there then too! Today, He helped me out. I didn't deserve it. He should have scolded me through His Word, but He is so longsuffering. Instead, He encouraged me today.
Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have showed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
I heard someone say that the Christian life is a marathon, not a sprint. That's a perfect analogy! It's like when you're running a marathon (not that I've ever run one, but I have a good imagination!), and you are just ready to say "Forget it! The finish line is too far! I'll never make it!!!!" But then, someone runs along 'side you and gives you a cup of water, or Gatorade, and pats you on the back and says "Good job! You're doing great! Almost there!" And then, you get a second wind and even speed up a little. That's how it feels. We're in Texas, and it's a great place, but the Devil fights here just like anywhere else! The work is slow but steady, and sometimes, it feels like the finish line is just too far away...we'll never make it. I'm reminded of Psalm 89:46 where David asks "How long, LORD? wilt thou hide thyself for ever?" That's how I feel sometimes. Like it will be forever!
When I feel this way, I have the Bible to help me. Have I told you how I love God's Word? And I need to love it more.

Here are some ways it helps me:
It Counsels me - Proverbs
It Cheers me - Psalms, Philippians, Hebrews and many others.
It Corrects me - The Whole Thing!
It Comforts me - Psalms and much of the New Testament. Psalm 34:18 has been a particular comfort to me.

So, if you're feeling that "What's the use?" kind of feeling about your work for the Lord, like I do sometimes, then take heart! God sees, and He doesn't forget your work and labor of love. His Word is there to come along 'side you, pat you on the back and offer you that much needed drink of Gatorade and the encouragement that "You're doing great. Just keep going..."

Survival and Self Pity

We have had several disappointments today and yesterday. I don't want to bore you with all the details, and I don't want to whine. God has been too good to me, even in the times of trial, for me to whine. But have you ever just felt like a good pity party? The daily grind gets old sometimes, and if there is any line of work that has very little to offer in tangible rewards, it would be motherhood. There's no pay check, there's no vacation, or sick leave, no bonuses (unless getting a complete night's sleep every week or so could be counted as a bonus...yes, that's definitely a plus!). You can't be "mother of the month" in your home, or be "salesmother" of the week. The tangible results don't come until you see your child enter the world as a sane, well adjusted adult. Of course, the greatest result is that you see your child walk in the truths of God's Word by fearing Him, and serving Him. While I know in my heart that my kids are growing up way too fast, I sometimes get weary in well doing and feel they will be dependant upon me forever!
Yes, I feel like a pity party, but I try to do all I can to refuse self pity. This motto, "refuse self pity", was one I read in a small book, well a pamphlet really, about grief written by Elisabeth Elliot. She was the missionary wife whose first husband, Jim Elliot, was martyred while trying to win the Auca Indians in Ecuador. Her second husband suffered with cancer and died. I read this book when my mother passed it on to me shortly after my Dad went to Heaven. Mom said she really needed that reminder to "refuse self pity." So did I! We all want to feel sorry for ourselves at some point in time or another. Some of us have good reason! Losing your husband or child to death, even if they are in Heaven, is a good reason for self pity. After all we miss them! Losing a job, or facing financial ruin, well, that's a good reason too! There are lots of "good reasons." But, is it good for us to feel that way? NO WAY! No one wants to be around me when I'm that way, and I need people.
So, I want to thank the Lord for helping me to remember to "refuse self pity". It's a choice, you know. We can choose to not feel this way, we can choose to look on the bright side. We have so many blessings. I won't go into detail, but lately I've had some pretty big things go wrong for me. It's been a bummer. Terry and I try not to complain to others, well, we're a work in progress, but we're trying! In trying this, we have a good verse to remind us to whom we should complain: Psalm 142:2 I poured out my complaint before him; I showed before him my trouble. This is what we try to do, we try to complain to Him, after all, He's the only one who can do anything about our trials! So as these things began happening, I felt sorry for myself. I cried and decided to go "pour my complaint before him". It didn't take long for me to feel pretty stupid for telling God my troubles! As I began griping to Him, I realized just Who I was talking to! I thought of what He did for me. I thought about Calvary, and how God gave up His only Son. I began remembering the day I was saved, the day that gift of His Son became personal. I began thinking of the wonderful Mom and Dad that He gave me!(Oh, how much they had to put up with from me!) And my wonderful husband and my four children. Then, I remembered my great church, and this house that is more than I deserve. I couldn't stay feeling sorry for myself, because the truth is, I deserve even worse problems than these. I deserve Hell. No, Lord, I can't complain to You or anyone else. You've been way too good to me already. I think I'll just say "Thank you."

Who am I serving?

In my devotions this morning I read a verse that struck a chord in my heart. "He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live." Proverbs 15:27 I can't tell you how many times I've heard various and sundry preachers complain because they don't get gifts or love offerings from their people! I sometimes struggle with those same complaints: "Do the people like us? They don't seem to ever do anything for us." I am serving these people, but not for their glory. I am serving them to honor God. He is the one I must ultimately answer to. My prayer today, as I step out the front door to show His love to the people of Northside Baptist Church, is that I won't be greedy of gain, but that I'll hate gifts, and keep my eyes on Him. He will meet my needs as He sees fit. If it's His will for me to get a gift then I can claim Proverbs 17:8: A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.
He's already given me so much, He's given me today!