Happy Mother's Day!

I just wanted to wish all of you, my friends, a very happy Mother's Day!
I also wanted to wish the world's best Mom, Carolyn Courtney, a very happy Mother's Day. We can't wait to see you!!
Mom, you make the word "Mother" that much sweeter to me. Thank you for all you have done to rear me for the Lord, and thanks for all you do to help me keep my eyes on Him.
Thank you for taking an interest in my interests by faithfully reading my blog, and commenting, in a way that only a Mom can!

I love you.

~Valerie

PS Check back later to see a photo of how our church honored Moms today!

Something for My "Partner"

I had wanted to post something special in honor of my "partner", my Dad, on his birthday or another special date. However, because I'm not sure as to what my blogging status will be on his birthday, July 2nd, I decided to go ahead with it now. As I was packing up, I came across several cards and notes that friends had sent after his death. I keep them in a box which I avoid. I don't look at them very often, for they cause sadness deep within my soul. The tears start as a gentle trickle and then rapidly increase from there. I decided today, however, I would go through the box again. It's been a while since I've looked through it. Even though I miss him terribly, and it causes sorrow, it's good for me to remember the wonderful Dad I had here- and who is waiting for me on the other shore. I just wanted to share some things with you about my parents while I had the chance.
First let me tell you about my relationship with my parents. To sum it up, it was, and still is, wonderful. My parents were, in my opinion, strict. This said to me, "We love you, Valerie". My parents were giving. This said to me, "We love you, Valerie." My parents enjoyed having a good time and laughing. This said to me, "We love you, Valerie." My parents were forgiving. After being disciplined, I would repent. They forgave me and never brought it up again. This said to me "We love you, Valerie." My parents never humiliated me publicly. This said to me, "We love you, Valerie." My parents read their Bibles daily, lived according to the Scriptures, and backed our preacher. This said to me, "We love the Lord, Valerie." My parents led balanced and disciplined lives themselves. This said to me "Live this way for happiness, Valerie. Follow us as we follow Christ, Valerie." My parents whole heartedly invested in my interests. Whether this was shown by giving of their time, money or by simply listening, they cared about what I cared about. This said to me "You matter to us, Valerie."
My Dad and I had a unique bond. He often referred to me as his "partner". We had similar personalities. We enjoyed doing the same things. We biked together many summer nights. We would lie on the bed with the windows open in the summer and he would tell me all about his childhood...okay, I asked him a lot of questions! He picked me up from school and often bought us milkshakes. (I told you we enjoyed the same things!) Sometimes, I'd go to work with him. He would give me a map of Arkansas with all the counties and some colored pencils. What fun!! We once drew a map of the USA to hang on our mantle at home.(I would give pretend weather forecasts using it.) He read books to me in the summer about the Presidents. We enjoyed being together. This was true of my Mom, as well. We all liked being with each other.
Here are some things I wanted to share with you about my Dad. These were written on 3x5 cards that were handed out at my home church soon after my Dad's homegoing. I hope it will give you a glimpse into the life of this remarkable man.

"Bro. Courtney was such a blessing. He always greeted you with a smile, always had something encouraging to say. I guess the biggest thing that I'll remember about Bro. Courtney is listening to him pray. He will always be in my heart." - Laura Herndon

"I always loved to sit near Bro. Courtney during church because he was always so enthusiastic during the preaching. You could tell by the way he would "amen" the preacher that he lived and believed what he said. I also loved to hear him pray. You could tell he had a close walk with God. He left a wonderful legacy!" - Alisha Samples

"Bro. Ron Courtney - A godly man and great example for the younger fathers in our church. We will greatly miss him at Victory Baptist Church." - Mary Thomas

"When I think of Bro. Ron, I think about his love for his children and grandchildren - but even more, his love for souls. I always loved to hear him play the trumpet."
- Sheila Herndon

"It was very hot outside and we were sitting in the church. [Note: At the time the church met in the gym while they were building their new building.] Bro. Ron got my attention and said "Don't you wish you were in Greenland?" Bro. Ron was an encouragement to us." - Bro. Marty Arnold, Missionary to Greenland

And there were many more! There are so many loving people in my home church. These notes have been such a comfort to me over the past 3 - almost four years.
My Dad was tall, 6'2", and many people thought he resembled Ronald Reagan, especially when Reagan was in office. He would get so tired of complete strangers telling him this. He did not share this opinion! ;]

Here's a poem that a faithful friend of our family wrote. The Payte family, Reggie, Debbie, Jenceson, Jim and Reuben, have been friends of ours for years. We grew in the Lord together first at Hot Springs Baptist Temple under Pastor Glenn Riggs, and later at Victory Baptist. I hope you don't mind this long post, I just wanted to share what Jim wrote.

His wavy white hair
His finely honed wit,
The strength of his handshake
His encouragement to never quit.

The height of his stature
Is just but a mite,
Compared to his example
Of a man who lived right.

And, oh, to hear him pray
That's what I loved most
He seemed as though he were best friends
With the Lord of hosts.

No thee's and thou's
No strain of thought,
Plain spoken words
Not rehearsed or taught.

His head tilted back
As he uttered his prayer
I peeked I suppose
It seemed the Lord was standing there.

The words that he spoke
Still ring in my ear
I want to pray like that
And feel the Lord so near.

Into God's presence
Now he'll abide.
For today he went home
Leaving his children and sweet wife by their side.

But don't worry, don't mourn, fret or despair.
Ron Courtney left a heritage...
He was a man of prayer

Now you can see him in Heaven
As he talks with the Lord.
I picture it quite the same
As it was here before.

His head tilted back
Now Glory in his eye,
Face to face praying and waiting,
For you and me to arrive. - Jim Payte

I sure hope I didn't bore you with all of this. Since I've had a blog, I've written about everyone in my family. Everyone except my Dad. I've said a few things here and there, but I hadn't really told you about him. And to think, I could continue to write about him, and my Mom, for hours! None of my feelings for my parents are a shock to them. I have no regrets about my relationship with my Dad and Mom. To God be the glory!
I'll close with a little quote from my Mom's favorite show, The Andy Griffith Show. (Here's a brief synopsis) This is the episode where Aunt Bea wants a bed jacket for her birthday, but Andy doesn't get it for her. He instead gets her two dozen preserve jars. Aunt Bea is crushed. When he realizes his error, he goes to get the bed jacket, but it's been sold...to the Mayor! Andy agrees to trade the Mayor his prize fishin' rod, Eagle-Eye Annie, for the bed jacket. At the end, when Opie asks his Pa where the rod went, Andy replies to Opie:
"No, I didn't say that [I'd never get rid of it], I said I kept it because it brought me so much pleasure. And ol' Eagle-Eye Annie's doin' just what she's always done. Even right now she's bringin' me pleasure. Real heart-warmin' pleasure."

Pleasure, that's what my family brings to me. Real heart warmin' pleasure.

He Makes My Home Heaven on Earth

I was through with guys for quite some time, at least I thought so. Little did I know the man of my dreams, the man that I never thought I could get, would come along during a deep valley in my life and literally sweep me off me feet. No, he did not buy me a huge diamond. I don't drive an SUV. I don't get the latest fashions or live in a condo on the beach. Instead, I had a man pursue me with all that was in him. He never gave up on trying to win my heart. And he succeeded. Today, I live a home where I am loved and even adored. This love and admiration I know I do not deserve, yet Terry looks past my faults and sees the good. He is a wonderful picture of Christ. Christ loved me in spite of my faults. Christ loved me so much that He gave me a home in heaven someday, and a home that is heaven on Earth today. Terry is the reason for my heavenly abode!

I have a husband who is honest with me about myself. Yes, this sometimes hurts. But sometimes, love hurts. He is loving. He is thoughtful. He is hard working. He is wise beyond his years. He is faithful to the Lord first, to me second, our kids third, his parents fourth and to our church family fifth. He has his priorities in order. He fixes brakes for our church people for free. He takes me on dates to the Olive Garden!! (YES!) He takes the kids fishing. He cleans my Mom's gutters. He works on her car, in the hot sun. He bathes the kids when I am running late, or just to give me a break. He babysits our church kids so the ladies can attend our ladies fellowships or the Bible Study.

Terry doesn't go out and shake hands with the Mayor or the Chief of Police. He isn't trying to get in good with big name preachers. He isn't wanting a full page story in the newspaper. He is content with serving, working and loving behind the scenes.

Someday, I'll tell you all just how wonderful he is. I'll tell you how we met at 14 and couldn't stand each other!! I'll tell you about how his life took a detour from the Lord, and how the Lord righted his vessel. I'll tell you how he finally convinced me, and my Dad, to give him a chance. I'll tell you how he's weathered betrayal, disappointment, and even threats on his life for the cause of Christ. For now, I'll just tell you that I am so unworthy to be loved by such a wonderful man. He often tells me how he "married above himself in the caste system". The truth is, I'm the pauper in this relationship. I'm the beggar who married a prince.

Happy birthday, Terry.

I love you.

My Love Story - Ten Years Later

Terry and Valerie in Florida 2004

Terry and Valerie 2007

It was all I could do to walk away that cold January night. I headed for my car, staring at the dark concrete as I walked, tears stinging my eyes, wanting to turn back, but refusing. I knew that those first steps would be the hardest. I was walking away from a one year relationship with a guy that I thought consciously - but knew better subconsciously - would be my future husband. I did not admit to myself that I had "pushed" the relationship along the entire year. I had suggested that we go do "so and so". I had asked if he would call. I had done almost everything for both of us. Deep down, I knew I didn't want that. I wanted a guy that wanted me. But who would want me? Finally, the day came when I had to admit he wasn't the one. He had been drinking. He had another girlfriend in another town. He was doing drugs. This relationship was turning into a nightmare. It was over. I knew I deserved better, but truthfully, I had zero faith that I would get anyone, much less anyone better. After our break up, he left our small college and headed for the hills, where he could party undisturbed by my "ideas" for another date.

I spent my teen years in an active youth group. We had several guys in our church, and they dated every girl in church, well every girl except me. I had only had a few long-distance relationships. When would some guy -that lived around there- want to date me? All my friends were not only seriously dating someone, but two were married!

Then, I met Terry. Well, I met him at teen camp when we were 15, but at 18, he came to my church's college. He had also dated every girl in church - but me! (Do we see a pattern here?) He had been living a worldly life shortly before I broke it off with that guy. Terry came forward in church one night, crying and asking our church to forgive him. We did. That was that. He stayed in college. He kept going. That guy, didn't. He quit.

Terry came to me one night after church and told me he was "crazy about me". Okay. Right. I may be blond, people, but I'm not dumb. I had seen all the broken hearts he had left behind, and I had just been through that myself - I wasn't about to do it again. I was preparing to leave for a Bible college in northern Indiana. I had had it with small churches and my hometown. I was moving on to bigger and better things...I thought.

Terry sent me a rose to work the next day with a note that read "Since you don't believe me, I'll convince you." It was unsigned, but I knew who had sent it. I was reeling. This was what I wanted! Someone who wasn't afraid to win me. That was the end of February,1997. And let me tell you, convince me he did! He had his work cut out as I am very stubborn! He had to win my Dad over, as well as me! Dad wasn't too fond of any guys at our church after what that guy had done. Terry prayed and worked very hard at winning me. Our first date was April 25,1997. We got lost! We finally made it to the restaurant. It was, well, it was exactly how I envisioned a date to be. After all, this was my first date! Well, the first date that I hadn't organized! ;o) We dated "steadily" from then on. We were soul mates. It was obvious to us, but I will admit that at 19, you're still very immature!!!

He purposed marriage to me on Sept. 11, 1997. We were married January 2, 1998. He has not been perfect, but then, neither have I. We have our ups, and our downs. Life has hurled many trials our way. Some trials our closest friends don't even know about. But through it all, God's love has led us. And through all my faults and failures, Terry's love has been there - waiting for me, and winning me all over again! He's a wonderful husband, he's my best friend. He's a great leader. He's a tender hearted soul winner. He's an honorable man and loving father. Every quality I looked for in a husband, he has it and more!

I love you, Terry. Thank you for wanting me. Thank you for convincing me. Thank you for 10 exciting years.

Terry and Lauren with her new doll, Christmas 2007

(She named the doll Elsa)

Terry and Mitchell shooting his BB gun.

Terry and Leslie with her broken arm. :(

Terry with Leslie and Laci

To Find My Heroes, I Look No Further than My Breakfast Table

A man told my husband that he was wanting to write a book about three of his heroes. All three were preachers. I thought to myself "That is really wonderful! But, if I write a book about my heroes, I wouldn't need to look further than my breakfast table to find them."
My heroes as a child, were Ron and Carolyn Courtney, my Dad and Mom. They are not pioneers, or war veterans, but they made an ordinary life, extraordinary. They brought joy to the mundane happenings of life. They brought peace to a chaotic world. For this, they are my heroes.
My Dad never made it very far up the "ladder of success". He worked as Director of Field Services for the American Cancer Society, and later the American Heart Association. This meant that he traveled the state of Arkansas and organized local fund raising boards. He was a great speaker. He taught the boards how to organize and follow through with fund raising campaigns, such as, "Jump Rope for Heart" and many others. Once he and Mom came to know Christ, they no longer went to the parties that were hosted by the "big wigs" in these fund raising organizations. He quit doing this because they served alcohol, and Dad would not associate with that lifestyle in any way. This forced him into the shadows of the business world, and therefore, he never made it into the boss's chair. Because he said "no" when the world offered him success at a high price, he is my hero. He spent many hours reading to me about the Presidents. I loved history, and he did, too. He took me on walks in the summer. We each had our own "walking stick" and we enjoyed looking at our neighbors' well manicured lawns and noting their new riding mowers! We smelled the honeysuckle in the air and he told me stories of his childhood. He took me on long bike rides, and he would take my bike apart and lubricate it every year and then proudly stand back and say "She'll go like greased lightning, now Valerie!" And he was right. He took me to teen activities, the library, and to my monthly orthodontic appointments. He read the Bible aloud to my Mom every morning. He loved me when I would get a bad attitude, and he was so proud of me when I achieved a high score on a test. For all of this, he is my hero.
My mother was blessed to have the favor of men and women alike in her chosen field: education. A brilliant student herself, I am convinced that she could have become a college professor if she had desired. Instead, she taught special education. She was, and is, tenderhearted. Her heart broke when a mentally disabled or retarded person was laughed at, or made fun of. I am not as naturally tender hearted as she, but watching her tear up over seeing someone mistreated has made me much more sensitive to the feelings of others. We never called someone "a retard" as a joke in my house. We never made fun of those who were handicapped or poor or disabled. She taught me that it was by God's grace that we had the intelligence, money and abilities that we have. For this she is my hero. She taught me that "life and death are in the power of the tongue". (Prov. 18:21) She spent many hours explaining to me that words can help or hurt people, and that mine often hurt others. She worked long hours teaching, and often stayed after school to tutor students who were struggling. Then, she came home to cook supper, do laundry, write letters, lesson plans, and grade papers. She rose early, and went to bed late. It was a rare evening that she ever put her feet up to relax. She was always doing for others. She never missed her Tuesday night soul winning time. She worked hard at teaching her 3rd Grade Sundays School class. She made us eat breakfast - and supper - together. For all of this, she is my hero.
When I married at age nineteen, I had already been witnessing some amazing examples of character and integrity. I had no idea that I'd be witnessing even more of that in the life of my husband.
He got his first job at age fourteen because his bike was broken, and he needed to earn money to have it repaired. He could have asked his parents, or grandparents for the money, but he didn't. He got himself up every morning at 4:30 and delivered papers on foot. For this, he is my hero.
He watched his father face many battles in the ministry, yet he gave his life to serve in the ministry as well. He didn't get bitter. He is my hero.
In Bible college, he had to install his own lavatory in the dorm! He faced very primitive conditions as the college got on it's feet, yet, he didn't quit. He's been criticized and judged wrongly by others, but he doesn't get angry or quit. He keeps going. He is my hero.
He has many abilities and talents, yet he is humble. He gives his all when he could get by with less.
He studies God's Word, and tries to live it. He's honest. He's not a hypocrite. If we have a disagreement over something before services, or if he even just snaps at me, he will apologize before he preaches. He wants to be right with God, and with man, or in my case, woman! For all of this, he is my hero.
I am so thankful that my heroes are not just people I know about, but people I know.

Thanks for Asking!

I'm so glad you asked me to marry you ten years ago today! You've made me the happiest woman alive! See you soon!

Terry and me on his 26th birthday, in Florida!
Terry and Lauren on his 29th birthday, along with his most prized possession - his new Bunn Coffeemaker!!
Terry and Leslie right after her birth - May of 2005
Terry, my wonderful husband and Pastor!

June 28, 2007

I love you! Have a great week!

A Day to Remember

September 11, 2001 is a sacred day in America. It should be. I remember very well exactly where I was and what I was doing when I received word that we were under attack in America. Until then, I never would have thought that America was vulnerable. I didn't know that such a tragedy as 9/11 was even possible here. That day changed me forever, as it did all of us.

September 11 has been a special day to me long before 2001, though. Since I was 9 years old, September 11 has been my pastor's birthday. We have celebrated that day for 20 years! Dr. Ken Graham became my pastor in January of 1988. Seems like yesterday! He has been my counselor, pastor and friend for 20 years. It was under his ministry that I was saved. It was he who put up with my weird teen years. It was through him that I met my husband! He married me and Terry in Jan. 1998. He gave Terry his first paid ministry job. He has been behind the pulpit of Victory Baptist Church giving direction and correction for almost 20 years. He was there during some dark days in my family - when my dad lost his job years ago, he was there. When my nephew was born with bacterial meningitis and nearly died, he was there. When my "partner", my Dad, went to Heaven three years ago, he was there. It was Bro. Graham who cried with us over the casket and said "I wish I could take this pain away from you." I knew he meant it. My parents never had "roast preacher" at home, instead they sent him notes of encouragement every week! My mom still continues this. When any conversation drifted to something negative about the church people or staff, my Mother always replied with: "I guess we should really pray for them." Or, " Yes, that's true, but did you notice (something positive about them)." One night right before I went to bed, I was telling her some things about a church staff member that really bothered me. When I turned off my alarm clock the next morning there was a note beside the clock from my Mom that read "If we prayed for people as much as we complain about them, we would see them change." OUCH! Talk about conviction. I knew she was right. Mom and Dad always lifted him up with prayer and positive talk. (Had to alliterate that...if you know Bro. Graham you know he's the king of alliteration!) They back him publicly and privately.(There I go again!) They follow him. They love him. So do I. I have since moved away from my hometown. I have a wonderful pastor now - my husband! But I'll always love my "home pastor" as I call him! I'm sorry I don't have a photo to put here, but I want to wish Dr. Ken Graham a happy birthday! If you have a loving pastor, thank God for him, and encourage him any way you can. Nothing is too small. The ministry is difficult - as life is! We need to lift each other up. Your preacher, however, is carrying the burdens of so many. He needs extra encouragement!

September 11 is also a special day for me in another way. It was Sept.11, 1997 that my husband asked me to marry him! Ten years ago today, I became engaged! We had known each other for years, and never liked each other. But I guess maturity changes things! Terry is in West Virginia preaching at a fellowship meeting, in fact, he's with Bro.Graham, so I don't get to see him. I just want to say that I am so glad he asked me that question...and that I had the sense to say yes!